Wisdom for Friendship

Hello, God bless you. I want to appreciate all those who recently joined our mailing list. You are welcome, and I can assure you that you won’t be spammed. We will be sending you one post each week. Somehow, I am starting this earlier our first post will begin in the month of August.

I have told you in my previous articles that we would be dealing with wisdom in this month of September. As the month approaches, I trust the Lord to help us as we discuss wisdom throughout this month.

The opening words of the Bible in the book of Proverbs 4:7 throws an instructive direction to all believers:

4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

Solomon was a wise king so when God came to him in the dream and asked, what do you want? Solomon requested for wisdom. And as a result of this wisdom which Solomon demonstrated, his Kingship was streak by unusual results.

There is nothing that can promote like friendship and there is also nothing that destroys like a friendship that is the reason why friends and association can make or break you. The Bible commands us to love but not make friends. God knows that friends can kill and friends can also build up. God has left us a choice in the matter of association as we can say this person be in and that person should be out.  I learned this from a Pastor in the UK, he said some friends are for your blessings while others are for your lessons. How true this statement. And it takes wisdom for us to associate and maintain friendship. Imagine the life of David without a Jonathan. He would have been killed by Saul

1 Samuel 19:1-2

And Saul spake to Jonathan his son, and to all his servants, that they should kill David. But Jonathan Saul’s son delighted much in David: and Jonathan told David, saying, Saul my father seeketh to kill thee: now therefore, I pray thee, take heed to thyself until the morning, and abide in a secret place, and hide thyself:

All the time that Saul planned to execute David, he would have succeeded. Who thwarted those plans? Jonathan, Saul’s son.

Yet another person was destroyed by his friendship with the wrong association who encouraged him to have intimacy with his own blood. When Absalom knew what Amnon had done, he secretly hatched a plan to kill him.

2 Samuel 13:1-14

13:1 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.13:2 And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.13:3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.13:4 And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.13:5 And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.13:6 So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.13:7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him meat.13:8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.13:9 And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.13:10 And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.13:11 And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.13:12 And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.13:13 And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.13:14 Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

When Absalom killed him, it was the same friend that went to report to King David that Ammon had been killed! (2 Samuel 13:28-29—Absalom ordered Amnon to be killed., 2 Samuel 13:30-32, Jonadab brought a report that Amnon had been killed.) A Friend! The same person, Jonadab, who gave him the advice that led to his destruction.  Beloved, making friends requires wisdom.

The best friend that can build your life is given by the Holy Spirit. There is something called divine connection. God bringing people into your life to become your friends. One way to know that a friendship has been orchestrated is that those people will continue to add to your life and not take away from your life. It takes wisdom to know these people and then maintain them. And some who don’t have wisdom has driven away people who are meant for their blessings by God. It was as a result of lack of wisdom.

Even when God gives you friends, it takes wisdom for you to be able to know the duration of their friendship in your life. Some friends who have been brought into your life by God all have their termination date. Some will be your friends for weeks, months, others for years and some will last until the day that the Lord calls you home. To insist that a friendship whose termination date has arrived to continue, it is like a man insisting on using expired drugs even though he knows that the drugs have expired. Friends given by God come in grace and when that friendship term has been determined by heaven, the grace that was sustaining that relationship is withdrawn. Don’t insist that people should stay in your life when the Lord says that their time has expired.

Destroyers of friendship


When you insist on winning all arguments, you may ruin your friendship. You can win the argument, and lose the friendship. Always allow the Lord to guide you in discussions. Most arguments are pregnant with strife and this can destroy friendship.

Failure to be led

The Bible says that in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. God wants to lead you in everything that you do even in your friendship and relationship with people that he has sent into your life. And for that friendship, there is a pattern ordained by heaven that God wants you to walk in. God told Moses to build according to the pattern that he has shown him. Most friendships even though God-ordained collapse not because their time has come to an end, but because we didn’t follow the pattern that God has ordained for the Friendship. May the Lord give us wisdom for our friendship in Jesus name.

God bless you. Look out for the next post.

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